"No More Diapers....No more Pull-Ups"
A Declaration by my 3-Year Old
Just so you know, I cannot stand the term "Potty Trained". First, I hate the word, potty. I do not want my three year old to shout out in the restaurant, "Mommy, I have to go potty." I have taught my children to say, "I need to use the bathroom" or " I need to use the restroom." So, when it comes to training them to use the bathroom and not use a diaper anymore, what do you call it? Bathroom trained? Restroom trained? It just doesn't sound right. We've defined it as "No More Diapers."
My 8th child can now declare, "No More Diapers. No More Pullups." Wow, now that's something to give myself a pat on the back for. How about a hot fudge sundae? No, I'm trying to cut out the sugar so we'll stick with the satisfaction of no more diapers which equals no more money spent on diapers, no more stinky diaper changes, and no more carrying around diapers. However, I'll always carry around wipes. That is a necessity, no matter how old your children are.
As I've worked on "No More Diapers" with eight children over the past 17 years, I've learned a lot. This tends to be a sensitive subject for many people, so please know, it's not meant to be offensive. This is my opinion so take it or leave it.
1. There is a perfect window of opportunity for No More Diapers. There is a click that turns on in the brain when children register understanding. It's at a different age for all children. You need to wait for that to occur before you even try or you will just be full of frustration. I don't even attempt to put my child on the toilet until I sense that the light bulb has turned on. How do you know? There are signs: the child tells you she's wet or messy, she wants to watch other people go, she takes off her own diapers and gets up on the toilet without you knowing, etc. Some of those behaviors are copy-cat...she just wants to do what older brother or sister is doing but the understanding may not be there yet. You know your child best.
2. I use the diaper until their training is complete. To avoid frustration on the part of the child and the parent, keep the diaper on until they're trained. Don't put the child in underwear until the child goes several days without having an accident. Talk and talk to the child about only going in the toilet, not in the diaper. Once you're confident that the child's ready for underwear, leave the diaper on.
3. Provide an incentive. I used skittles for my last child. Every time she went to the bathroom, she received a couple of skittles. It was very exciting for her and she was happy to go every time I suggested she use the bathroom. Another child liked money so I gave him a dime every time he went. At the end, he went shopping for a new toy. Whatever you choose, make sure it's special for only this event. I did not give her skittles at any other time. If she forgets about the skittles, great! They are for a short-term purpose anyway.
4. For me, it's easier to wait until they really get it, and then it goes quickly. I noticed for months that she woke up dry so I started putting her on the toilet every morning and she would go easily. One day, I just decided, "We're doing this." It took a week. During that week, she went once in her diaper. She started telling me when she needed to go so that was another sign of success. I did not once get frustrated because there was nothing to be frustrated about. She did not feel any stress. She just needed guidance and consistency because she already knew what to do. Once I made the decision, I had to stick-to-it! If she says she has to go, she has to go. Always give the opportunity and never second-guess. There's no turning back so go with it!
5. The family has to be on board, especially Mom. If Mom is not "prepared", it's not going to work. When I finally got my act together and was mentally ready, the process was smooth.
6. Be enthusiastic and excited when they have success. Use big expressions and hand signals. My enthusiasm includes, two thumbs up, a big wide mouth of surprise and a, "You did it!" Now, if I don't do that she says, "Mommy - do this." She opens her mouth wide and puts her thumbs up. I guess she likes the attention. She also likes to say, "You can do it" when it comes to wiping. Oh, thanks for the privilege.
7. I do not let my two or three year old wipe their own messy bottom. I cannot stand the thought of fecal matter all over my child's back or bottom, on the toilet, on their hands, etc. I would rather wipe their bum every time for a year+ until they really can handle it. They need to be taught to fold the toilet paper, wipe, fold again, wipe, etc. I know this is too much information (thus, no photos) but I'm trying to leave a manual for my own kids when their children are ready for No More Diapers.
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. The less traumatic the event, the easier it will be and the less likely the child will have accidents and night-time mishaps. This is only my opinion but as we've had stress-free, no pressure training, I can count on one hand the times each child wet the bed. Other tips for night-time: no drinks one hour before bed, go to the bathroom two or three times before bed time, if the child wakes up crying or fussing in the night, take her to the bathroom, put a diaper on the child at night until you're confident the issue is resolved, and pray for success with your child.
Watch for the signs, pray for guidance, and encourage and love your child. It will come and then you'll be shouting, "No More Diapers!!!"
